Feeling like an imposter…
Regardless of leadership level, experience, numbers of achievements and accolades, there is an unexpected thread connecting many seemingly successful executives; they feel like a fraud.
One hears about ‘imposter syndrome’, but when it walks through the door in the form of a coaching client, on nearly a weekly basis, then it really does seem to be commonplace and worthy of consideration.
Who would have thought that so many people could be convinced that they are ‘frauds’ and do not deserve the success that they have achieved. Somehow it is through luck or determination, not intelligence and skill that they have achieved. They are waiting for it to be finally revealed that they are not as good as ‘they have fooled everyone into believing’. They will be discovered!
What a burden for these executives, to work even harder in fighting a diminished view of self and somehow covering the ‘fraud’. This is not only stressful, but it also depletes resilience and raises anxiety. It is as though you have a mask on to hide the fraud.
If you have ‘imposter syndrome’ or you work with someone who does, then the first thing is to understand that it is not unique. No matter how convincing your arguments that you really are an ’imposter’ in your role, your fears are similar to many others, even those at the top of your organisation.
The difference between success and failure is how you settle and become comfortable with the fear of being an imposter. Here is one approach to help you/your colleague:
- Catch the repetitive self-talk that is convincing your that you are a fraud, and give it a label, such as “there’s that imposter talk again”.
- Let the ‘imposter talk’ pass through your mind without engaging with it.
- Note the feeling you have when the ‘self-talk’ occurs. Recognise it.
- Realise that it is only your thoughts and feelings. It is not reality.
- Immediately replace with a thought of a positive experience. If needed, decide on a positive thought in advance, such as being on the beach, a fun weekend activity, ending a successful meeting.
Positive experiences, and memory of them, broaden our thinking, increase our creativeness and let us get on with high performance.
Acknowledging imposter syndrome, then weakening its grip on your thinking and emotions, will help you to continue to be successful into the future. You are not alone and it does not reflect on your competence.